Patriarchy … On The Potty?




Students of San Diego University hold a “Shit In” to raise awareness of the evil powers of the patriarchy oppressing the campus restrooms.

Oh boy. The feminists are at it again. So far, they’ve won a woman’s right to vote, equal pay, same-sex marriage — an impressive trophy case. Now they’re taking on the patriarchy’s next stronghold.

You guessed it. Public restrooms.

Feminists are pushing for college campuses (their intellectual strongholds and breeding-factories) to tear down all gender-binary restrooms and install mixed-gender restrooms. This, they ambitiously dream, will liberate all transgender people, and finally put those dastardly, trans-phobic patriarchs in their place!

Please know, I respect the issues with which a transgender must face. I can’t imagine the torturous games of door number one or door number two you must play if you don’t fit in either sexual binary, and the resulting embarrassment if you choose wrongly. But attempting to satisfy a sliver minority through imposing totalitarian policies on everyone? That will generate many more problems than the comparatively minor one it will solve. The number of transgender people is unknown, but we can be certain without doubt that us privileged, arrogant, ignorant cisgenders vastly exceed them.

I laughed aloud at the idea. Seriously? This had to be a crazy fringe movement. But then I performed a swift Google search, and discovered that the internet is aswarm with articles, blogs, and videos that take this restroom revolution very seriously. Meanwhile, articles reasonably rejecting this stance are all but extinct.

tumblr_ny40nlsupZ1tvti0ro1_250A recent article from the Huffington Post, titled “Why Are Bathrooms Segregated In The First Place?” asserts that there exists no other reason than preserving patriarchal social order. In the fanatical eyes of feminists, we “segregate” bathrooms in order to oppress transgenders to the same outrageous degree as black Americans of the early 20th Century. Unconsciously, this feminist is planting an idea in your head: “if you even think that humans are sexually dimorphic, you are racist or as depraved as a racist.”

Um … what?

What about the possibility of men harassing women in the restroom? Oh, that’s just a silly myth they say to keep us controlled, my dear!

Be aware that feminists are masters of rhetoric and language, since they dominate universities — an entry-level tempter would do himself good to study them.

If you consider that feminists widely believe that we live in a “rape culture” — that is, rape is an American institution, all men grow up taught to rape, and that “rape is as American as apple pie” according to radical feminist Jessica Valenti — isn’t it wonderfully hypocritical they would so readily allow males into the very heart of female vulnerability with open arms? Look, I’m the double-standard fairy, exceptions for everyone!

gender-neutral-restroomSuppose the worst happened, and a sexual predator harassed a woman in our hypothetical agender restroom by peeking in the stall. In the good old days of segregated bathrooms, there would be no debate — a man shouldn’t be around urinating females in the first place. But in the new age of draconian sexual equality, where would the circumstantial evidence exist other than the woman’s pure, honest, non-arbitrary word that she was accosted? There are many things I don’t care about the NSA monitoring — watching me pee on camera is not one of them.

Feminists assert that the oppressive segregation of restrooms based on sex is, as the title of a Slate article put it, a prudish, outdated relic of Victorian paternalism. According to an article by Elizabeth Nolan Brown, the first separate toilet facilities for men and women appeared at a ball in Paris in 1739. They claim it is a recent phenomenon.

Let’s purposefully forget to mention that the invention of a running toilet itself is fairly recent — about 1851 is when public toilets became widespread in cities. Otherwise, from the birth of Christ to the battle of Waterloo it was either chamber pots or tree trunks. Separation of sexes traces as far back as the Roman baths under Emperor Hadrian in 1 AD.

This ridiculous and tyrannical outlash is so characteristic of feminists; feminism is, you must realize, positively retrograde. One can view feminists as a female figure, government a male figure, and in order to achieve “reform,” feminists, like an old and cranky wife, endlessly nag the patriarchal government they claim to dethrone until he finally relents. Just to make her shut up.

How deeply similar to religious superstition feminism has become. Just as Christian zealots see Satan’s power orchestrating a world they don’t like and demons hiding behind every bush, so feminists see the imaginary patriarchy hunting them and persecuting their kind. Now they decry toilet stalls as dens of evil ideological spirits.

Being the new religion, feminism has degenerated into a modern witch hunt. Whenever feminists finally get their way, their paranoia invents a new ideological frontier to conquer, growing more vague and totalitarian in the pursuit of the purest feminism. Always a new victim, always a new oppressor. I suspect, if the feminists are not stopped, an age will come when the entire human population is mandatorily pansexual and polyamorous, while monogamous lovers will be regarded with disgust reserved exclusively for pedophiles.

I sincerely hope that SUNY Fredonia, JCC and other local campuses don’t take this potty problem seriously. I implore every administrative figure to stand guard against this brain virus infecting our sensibilities. When I visit my old campus, I’d like to use the restrooms without bladder shyness because three females are chatting about their periods behind me.

The feminists’ siege on restrooms is the last straw. One day, I won’t even be able to urinate without their telescreens watching me. But for now, let’s call this issue out for the temporary, confused phase it is, and move on with important matters.


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