Breaking news: the Super-Patriotic Party of Benevolent Carnivores won the election. Now every American citizen is required by law to eat a big, juicy slab of steak every night for dinner, subsidized by the government. Don’t the polls reveal that 96.8 percent of Americans consume and approve of consuming meat? Go democracy!
“God evolved our incisors for a reason,” said the new president whilst gnawing on a chicken wing. “Our right to eat greasy tons of meat is protected by the Constitution.”
The new regime cracks down on vegetarians and vegans. Clerks who refused to sell government-issued steak to their clients have been arrested, and one vegan was allegedly shot and killed for attempting to stab police with a fork. Meanwhile, scalps are scratched and eyes squint as nobody is able to point out exactly what part of the Constitution covers American dietary rights.
This fiction reflects the reality of the prevailing drama surrounding Kim Davis, a Kentucky County clerk who was jailed for a week for refusing to issue same-sex marriage licenses.
The chief contention from activists is that she has to obey the law, or else go to jail. Which law? Oh. The Supreme Court doesn’t wield the power to make laws, only to affirm or strike them down via the Constitution. Grant it, the Defense of Marriage Act was struck down in 2008, but has Congress passed a bill yet clearly supporting same-sex marriage? Nope.
Davis believes she is acting “under God’s authority.” Possibly insane? Yes. But admirable. If only someone in office had that caliber of conviction.
Why not buckle up and drive to another Kentucky county and obtain a marriage license there? Looks like a 12-minute drive is too expensive for some people. Must be why they want to marry and get tax breaks. So they dragged a scapegoat into the metaphorical synagogue and rhetorically flogged her, then threw her in jail for six days. Without a trial. For following her convictions.
This is the reality of the state. It says, “Ah, I see you have a conviction that goes against the laws of your masters? Off to jail.” “Oh, so you don’t feel like funding an unjust war that defies international laws against aggression by invading a sovereign country? To jail with you, too.” The state demands conformity and obedience. Or imprisonment and — if you resist your captors — death.
For a goal which is seemingly noble and benign, these positive-rights activists have sunken to the same pitiful depths as their old oppressors. It’s a vague but sinister echo of the Soviet Union. But the activist usurpers are the wounded gazelle. All the sentiment is on their side. Who dares to question the defenders of millions of tearful, unwed, slightly unorthodox couples?
Congress, the court, the president, the press, and the entire Internet dog-piled on one little old lady in Kentucky for breaking an inconsequential law. Isn’t there anyone else who should be harangued for dismantling our liberty?
“Obey the law!” the activists cry. Since when did Obama enforce immigration laws? Or since when did a president receive Congressional approval to declare war? They can disobey the law, because they have power. The left wing act as cowards and bullies. If you’re going to use the law to justify yourself, you’re standing in quicksand.
“Obey the law!” the activists cry. In 2003, the Supreme Court struck down the sodomy bans in Texas and other states. I’m sure the LGBT community didn’t obey the law before then. It’s a good thing they didn’t.
“Obey the law!” the activists cry. But this particular woman was elected to a government position which, at that time, defined marriage differently. The drafters of the country created states for this very reason. So to which law should Davis pledge her loyalty?
Chief Justice John Roberts admonished that the American people can celebrate a new expression of love and social bonding. “But do not celebrate the Constitution. It had nothing to do with it.”
“Since well before 1787, liberty has been understood as freedom from government action, not entitlement to government benefits,” said Judge Clarence Thomas.
“The Supreme Court … has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story,” said Judge Antonin Scalia, “to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie.”
While all my former college friends celebrate their sexual liberation with rainbow Facebook profiles, all I see is the shadow of our draconian federal masters darkening over our lives, all over a meaningless court gesture. It might not be long — a decade, or two? — before we need government microchip implants just to make our hearts beat.