As time passes, events become history, history becomes myth, and myth becomes legend. Nations coalesce and cleave asunder. And in an age long before humanity’s conception of history, the Great Empire of Glasentia united the tribes and nations of mankind under one throne.
What became of this glorious era has been lost in the tides of time. All that is known is that, after the Glasentian empire collapsed, from the storm of chaos and war, five new nations rose from the ashes:
Adamethia, a bright and cunning nation of tale-spinners and thieves’ guilds, pledged to preserve the ways of their imperial precursors
Alexanthium, a rich and productive nation whose people find simple contentment in football and archiving libraries of useless information
The Austinites, a technologically advanced people who prize their zest for life and taste in music and women
Alisiane, a peaceful and progressive nation who can never get a word in.
Little is known of that epic time of history, the Era of the Five Nations, but it would be an utter dark age were it not for an Adamethian scribe, Adamstradamus, and his descendants. The following is the account of that ancient scribe.
So it begins …
“Driven away from their homes in the Glasentian empire, the tattered refugees wandered along the river bank for many moons. Many died on the way before they discovered the land promised to them by the old blind prophet, whose strange dreams led them on this path to a new life. It was a fertile land, sheltered by hills and mountains to the north, to the south it was nourished by rich red sands of the river banks.
“The leader of the travelers stood on a high rock, scanning the lush fields of heather and full of grazing gazelle. Adam Glasier was his name, and in the character of his well-intentioned narcissism, as the first of his settlers pitched her tent, he declared that this land be named Adamethia, and founded the nation’s first city. So it is known today.
“Adam, Adamethia’s greatest and only leader, in his wisdom sent forth the two intrepid explorers, Adamewis and Adamlark, to explore these new lands, and more settlers to follow them. They traveled south, and within a century of marching south founded the second city, Adamopolis. Meanwhile, the rest of the people stayed in their new city, working the land around the river, and for the most part enjoying the simple pleasure of work.
“The Adamethians were a primitive people – after the fall of Glasentia, which had all but become a myth except in their holiest of scrolls, most of their technology had been lost. In their exploration, the scouts came upon a number of native villages, who blessed them with secrets such as the knowledge of alphabet and building spears to poke people to death, as well as many friendly mercenaries, with little foreboding that their future generations of Adamethians might use these gifts to steal their land and enslave their people. Oh well.
“One day, a swordsman named Adamgar was on a journey north, far from his homeland in Adamethia, in search of the Eroma Stone, a fabled jewel that if worn would allow him to charm any woman he wanted. After many years of scouring the north, he found himself lost in a marsh, reeling with starvation, when he saw a city in the distance – it was no city that his people knew or built. As he collapsed in the mud, a contingent of club-wielding maidens emerged from the distance, surrounded him. Adamgar was sure they would kill him, but instead they spoke to him in a strange, lisping tongue, before carrying him off to their city. He heard the word ‘Anneopolis’ uttered many times, with another name, ‘Alisia,’ with the reverence and awe of their chieftain.
“As Adamgar learned, these were the Alisianes, a faction of the old Glasentian empire. Within a year they sent him back with their ambassador to the city of Adamethia. A cease-fire was swiftly agreed upon – the two young nations had no reason to waste time fighting one another. Adamgar never found the legendary Eroma Stone, but his actions sealed the friendship of Adamethia and Alisiane for many years to come.”
“The Adamethians explored their land. Soon, it was their vow, their manifest destiny, to conquer the wild and uninhabited north.”
“Five hundred years after the quest of Adamgar led to the contact with Alisiane, Adamgar’s vastly distant warrior descendant, Adamgroth, was trekking far into the east in search of the Eroma Stone his father could never find. As he climbed a thickly forested hill, he began to hear a distant sound, a cacophony of thunder and screaming human voices. Adamgroth, the blood of his brave father coursing through his veins, vowed not to be swayed, and journeyed closer to the deafening sound.
“He stumbled out of the forest, and into a wide field. A group of blond-haired, cleft-chinned folk were digging up the ground for a road. The sound was now ear-splitting. Adamgroth slowly realized it was music.
“One clef-chinned worker carrying a plank bumped into Adamgroth. ‘Yo, watch it,’ he said, and Adamgroth barely understand the dialect.
“‘What is this infernal din?’ screamed Adamgroth, plugging his ears.
“‘Dude, you never heard of Avenged Sevenfold? Get with it, man.’ The worker sauntered away.
“These people must be deaf to play music so loud and dreadful, he thought. Adamgroth looked. Sitting on a stump was a bizarre device emitting the noise. A legendary relic of the Glasentian empire of old, he thought. ‘I am of the Adamethian people,’ he said to the other workers. ‘I come in peace. Who are you?’
“They were the Austinites, they told him, as if he had asked what grass was. The two nations sent ambassadors, and a cease-fire was agreed upon – after the council waited many hours for Austin to finish his shower. Adamgroth set off further east, still in search of the Eroma Stone. The Austinites shook their heads.
“As Adamgroth ventured deeper and deeper into the east, he passed many astounding cities in the Austinite nation – Austturard, Austinia, Juliopolis – all who provided him with gifts and supplies for his journey.
“Adamgroth and his followers were trekking through a bog, when his eyes fell upon the shape of a city in the distance. As he ventured nearer, peered closer, he saw that the city was unguarded. He idly brandished his sword. He was tempted to go back to his camp of mercenaries, call them to arms, and swiftly take the city.
“Suddenly, he was tackled. A pack of large men in plastic helmets and padded buttocks surrounded him, passing a leather ball to each other. ‘What, you game to take us, bro?! You think you can take us the all powerful city of Alexessqueest!?’ they shouted, beating their chests.
“But their ranks parted, and a tall man stepped forward with glasses, a prominent nose, and a calm disposition. ‘Bow for Lord Alex, you wussies!’ one shouted. ‘Hut-hut-hut-HIKE!’ and they squatted into filed ranks.
“Lord Alex shook Adamgroth’s hand. ‘I’m calling the Colts and Seahawks this superbowl. What about you?’
“Adamgroth assumed this was a strange greeting of the people of the east. ‘Uh, I, too, shall wager upon these foals and seabirds you speak of. I come in the name of Adam, of the Adamethian empire, and I come in peace … heheh …’ He shifted nervously, even with his sword, under the gaze of the football warriors.
“Alex shrugged. ‘Cool story, bro.’”
“Adamgroth was welcomed into the Alexanthine nation. He soon learned that the bogs of the east were created by thousands of feet grinding the ground into mud for the favored recreation of these people, football.
“Meanwhile, the scouts Adamlewis and Adamclark were hunting game in the Alexanthine woods. They were in pursruit of a fierce boar, which had eluded them for three days. Just as they were about to corner and kill it, the boar was shot by another arrow.
“A man with dark hair and a sturdy frame emerged from the brush to claim his kill, but when he saw the Adamethians, the two parties stared at one another. ‘He has our food,’ said Adamlewis. ‘No, it’s his by rights,’ said Adamclark, then turning to the newcomer said, ‘Who are you?’
“ ‘I am Andremorth, of the Andregoth people, ruled by the great dictator and adversary of the Glasentians … Andrew.’
“The Adamethians convened amongst themselves, then said: ‘Well, we’ll let you have our boar, if you promise peace.’
“But the man chuckled. ‘Have your peace. The boar is mine, anyways.’ And they left. Thus began the unsettling relations for the Adamethians and the Andregoths.”
TO BE CONTINUED